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Sasha Lee Tilling

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It happens every year... [21 Dec 2010|01:10pm]
Another year is coming to an end and yet I do not feel the sadness I used to at this time of the year. I have been so happy having a family; especially Misha my son, that I have been on a cloud ever since Satori got honest with Hayden and she accepted me into her life. There are so many loose ends to tie up before Friday. That is when Satori and I will be having dinner with our family and then going to my penthouse for some private time since we have the same birthday. I will be 31 and he will be 32. We will be back to celebrate Christmas with our family. This is just some private time away that Hayden gives as a gift to us each year. We have private time at home but being alone, totally alone, is so different and though I love my family, I do miss having Satori all to myself.

Our house is decorated to the nines. I hired a professional to come in an help me so I could keep Hayden and Satori out of my way and I wanted to surprise them so I sent them out for the day and when they came home this is what greeted them. Our foyer has been transformed. I thought I was going to have to shut their mouths but I was just getting started. Next we went to the main room where I had a fire going and one of many trees up.It gave the room such a warm feeling that I wish we could leave it like that all year round I took pictures from both angles. We went from there to the more relaxed living room

Then I led them to the formal dining area. We will not be using this room until Christmas Evening I even did the chairs. I wonder how long it will be before the children destroy them.

The tour continued to the kitchen where I went for an old fashion homey feel. The breakfast area or where we eat most meals, got some treatment too From there it was off to Satori's sitting room A few feet led us to the back stairs where there was yet another tree.

The master bedroom was tastefully done. I am hoping that Satori is graceful and does not tear it apart. I did their sitting area in the bedroom as well. It may have been over kill but it looked fantastic. My bedroom was also done. I may be gay but I am not a queen. I went for masculine seasonal. Addy was asleep in her room. She absolutely loved it. The boy's nursery looks the same.

We came down the stairs where my office was also done with Christmas cheer. Addy has already learned the meaning of hot the hard way so I felt comfortable with candles and nick knacks high enough to prevent the boys from eating them.

Well I hope you enjoyed you tour of Casa Shadowin holiday style and whatever holiday you celebrate I hope it is the best one ever! Happy holidays to you all from my family to yours.
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I finished the book! [17 Sep 2010|11:01pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Hello my friends in NYC. I have really missed being around. After the twins were born Satori, Hayden, her father, me and the children spent the summer in the Hanptons. During part of that time I took a side trip to finish up the research on the book I have been writing “The Romanov Prophesy” Moscow was beautiful and the architecture is enormous in a way you cannot even imagine unless you are there. I mean, I have seen Red Square and the Kremlin in pictures but being there and seeing it with your own eyed just adds a whole new level of real to the experience. Pictures do not even come close to doing it justice.

The Kremlin is the oldest part of Moscow. It is the historical, political and social "heart" of the nation. It was built in 1147, more than 860 years ago Moscow Kremlin has seen Tsars, Soviet leaders and Russian Presidents. These days, it's a major decision-making center, just like it used to be.

Russians have always built on a large scale and I guess some things never change. This is called The Dormition Cathedral,or Uspensky Sobor. There were two attempts to build it. The first cathedral was destroyed by an earthquake. If I lived back then I would have thought it was an omen and stopped but the Tsar was determined. Ivan III was determined to try again and it was finished in 1479. His persistence paid off, and now this place is still here for us all to admire. Next is The Cathedral of the Archangel In Russian, it's called Archangelsky Sobor. Constructed around 1508, it is the home of many beautiful frescoes, icons, and stonework. Some of the icons date back to 14th century, and were created by a famous Russian painter; Andrey Rublev. Many of the Russian Tsars are buried there, including Ivan the Terrible. You can actually see the ornamented tombstones inside the cathedral. They would not allow me to take a picture.

The Cathedral of the Annunciation, or Blagoveschensky sobor, is on of the last of the tree cathedrals on the square. Walking through the gold gilded doors is like being transported into the past. The icon lines walls and spaces covered with frescoes are amazing and these sites rival some of the places I have been like the Ufuzzi, or the Medici Museum and Vatican City as far as architecture, giving glory to God and artwork. It is something you have to see in person to really get the full picture and appreciate the grandeur.

Another two buildings on Cathedral Square deserve your attention. They are Saint Ivan's Great Bell Tower. This beauty's height is 81 meters. It's the tallest of all the Kremlin bell towers. In the past, it was forbidden to build anything higher than this belfry in all of Moscow It's almost 700 years old. Some say it marks Moscow's geographic center. And Saint Basil’s Cathedral absolutely breath taking and everything looks like it was just built yesterday. The Russians take restoration and upkeep seriously.

As majestic as the buildings were in the day time, at night when lit they are stunning. This is where I spent most of my time; The Moscow Museum of History could there be a more beautiful place in the world to do research?

Well it has been six months since my interview with Miki Romanov and without his assistance this trip, my research and this book would not have happened so I wanted to give him proper credit and when the book comes out next month you will see his name in print. Many thanks Miki; I could not have done this without you!

I am excited to say that the book is finally finished, has been edited and is being printed as we speak. Many advance copies have gone out to critics and I think I may open on the New York Times Best Sellers List again if I am lucky. Here is one review that I got a look at from someone at Time Magazine.

Time Magazine Review )

I am very excited to be in the process of finally releasing this book and when it comes out of course I will be doing a signing tour. One final thing; I picked up a little something in Moscow I could not resist it and I could not smuggle anything larger out of the country!

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[23 Jun 2010|05:26pm]
Hello Manhattan! It has been quite a while since I have time to write in this thing. As many of you already know Hayden Shadowin gave birth May 15th to twins one of whom was my son Misha Casitel. I love all the children but Misha is especially loved because I never thought I would have a child of my own.

Coming out was not a good experience for me. My family disowned me and only contacted me when "The Davinci Code" became so popular to ask for money. I gave them a settlement that will take care of them the rest of their lives if they manage it properly and walked away. I did it to prove a point which was, I am a bigger person than you.

I have always wanted a child and I thought because I was wealthy and a good person with no criminal history, drug problems or any other issues I would be able to foster a child and perhaps adopt. Well let me tell you. If you thought it was difficult for a Gay couple, try being Gay and single. After all the home studies, intrusions into my personal life and finances, talking to close friends and my editor and publisher, I still think they thought I was some kind of pervert or pedophile because all I got was "We'll have to wait Mr. Tilling, you are on our list" After years of being on "the list" I tried to go to Europe but the "gay thing" was an issue there as well. I was thinking of a surrogate but I was afraid she might try to take the child. So I accepted with a heavy heart I would not have children.

After meeting and being with Satori for over a year, when he explained he wanted to marry Hayden and for us to live as a large family I agreed. I had gotten to know Hayden and I loved her and her daughter Addy. It was a chance to have the family I had dreamed of and not lose my bisexual lover. When they started discussing children I stated to get a bit jealous but they included me in this dialog and Hayden offered to carry a child for me. I was stunned and overwhelmed. It was a dream come true. I would have a child with my DNA. A child of my own. Well we did all the medical stuff and Hayden was able to carry a child for me and one for Satori to be born as fraternal twins.

The miracle of birth is just that. A miracle. I have a new appreciation for women after watching Hayden deliver the boys. I know I would not have been able to do it and I don't see how any woman does it more than once. The day Darius and Misha were born is on of the happiest days of my life. Things have not been the same since.

Addy is really kind to her brothers and not as jealous as I expected her to be. She wants to help even if it means powdering their faces. Once we taught her to be gentle she has been so cooperative. It took about a month but sleep time is now on a manageable schedule. It was not so bad having three of us to take rotation but now they boys sleep through the night. I love getting up in the mornings and seeing their faces. They are so soft and all they want is to be loved and snuggled. It is wonderful. I never knew I could love someone so much.

I have been writing from home for quite a while but soon I must make a trip to Russia to do further research for my book. I had quite an extensive interview with Miki Romanov and he has been a font of information on his family. He is charming, witty and open. In addition to his vast store of knowledge, Miki was also was able to arrange for me to meet with some historians here and in Russia as well as secure me entry into the Russian National Archives. I am so grateful to him for all the information and assistance. The least I could do was provide him with a fantastic dinner experience. I decided that we would have the meeting out of the office so we had a great conversation over a fabulous dinner at Masa.

On a side note, never been to Masa? Well if you like Japanese you really need to get there. The food shines above and beyond any other Japanese/sushi restaurants I've been to in NYC. Each piece of sushi is crafted to be something unique, with the addition of other flavors depending on the type of fish you're being served. Is it worth it? Yes, because you won't have this experience anywhere else, and the menu is comprised of only the best, seasonal items. You can't rationalize the cost per person, it's irrelevant. If you're thinking of splurging - do it.

Masa Takayama,is a master of Japanese cuisine and has been dubbed the sushi god from L.A. He came to New York with a uniquely Japanese, if slightly insane proposition, that a meal of the highest quality is worth almost any price and he is right. Whatever you do, sit at the bar not at the dimly lit tables, preferably in front of Masa himself. The ensuing spectacle, is part nourishment, part entertainment, and part ancient performance art. It’s not just a meal, it’s an event well worth the cost of a single omakase dinner. Miki and I had a wonderful time. I am taking Satori and Hayden there soon.

Other than caring for the kids and watching Hayden get back to her physically healthy state nothing much has been going on. We are in the Hamptons for the summer and though her father accompanied us he has been terrific. I was worried because knowing intellectually about a three person relationship and seeing your daughter live like that from a close vantage point are two different things. He has not commented on anything and has been enjoying his grandchildren.

Satori has taken the summer off for the most part, only doing two shows a week back in the city. So we are one big happy family. I will have more news once I get to Russia and back. I hope all of you are having as great a summer as I am. I am posting a picture of the boys. The one on the left looking serene is my son Misha. The one on the right with the smirk is Satori's son Darius. Like father like son!

The boys )
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Wanna know more? Join Luxelife_mod. [24 Jul 2009|10:17pm]

Sasha 2
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